General Writing Health Mental health Self-Help

The keys to happiness.

Happiness is a skill.


Many believe that happiness manifests from our heart purely when the right moment kicks in, while this is not wrong, that right moment is depended on when you think it is.

At youth, we thought we always knew what it means to be happy. The times when we spent on our close companions, singing silly songs together or playing a fun game at somebody’s house, we could so easily erase all the ‘problems’ from the back of our head for a while. This attitude subsided when we passed the legal age of maturity. You started to realise there was a different world out there, a larger social system that was much aggressive and estranged.

Often, we get drowned by the system. We’d seen many unfair treatments, heard negative comments, and gradually our subconscious believes that we have to be sad like everybody else to fit in. Due to this fact, our mind starts to save up bad images, like frustration, deception, killings, and bloods, missing to notice the blue sky, the joy of regular people in the park, or the sounds of your own laugh.

In this materialistic world, no matter how valuable an item you own, if it doesn’t give you constant contentment within, it only means the numbers of its value displayed in the market. The world is shaped by your vision and emotion rather than what have been there.

Happiness does not depend upon the outer force, or we might never be truly happy again. We use our energy to make it happen, it’s coming within.

So how do we do it?

First ask yourself, what makes you happy, really?
Write down on a piece of paper. Take my list for example:

– drink water
– whenever is practicing, writing, dancing
– quiet
– having a clear goal and really following it
– procrastinate
– catching up with friends
– shower

Keep your list short and simple. Whatever comes to your mind, kindly put it down, believe in your heart. After clearly knowing what makes you happy, be with the listed items, experiment your state of being while doing it, you will gain more joy and carefree from them, which will trigger your deeper state of creativity. You’re becoming more outgoing, positive person who knows how to put their energy into good use, benefiting your mental and physical health. It’s okay to stop all the negativity coming into your life right now. You have a choice to be happy.

Stop taking things too personally or seriously.
In the end, we only live once in this life. Taking things too personal or serious prevent you from enjoying the process. What matter most is your well-being, other than the perfectionism of everything, other people perspectives, problems or pleasing everyone else. Once you decide to lighten up and let go all the old habits of thinking toward others and things you encounter, two new magical paths will emerge in your vision. First, the people who have always been getting in your way will start to disappear. Second, you become the ones who bring joys to the world, instead of looking for joys elsewhere.

Be aware of your negative thoughts, let them go gently and firmly.
In a day, we have thousands of thoughts floating in our head, more than you ever realised. Many negative thoughts created by our pre-judgemental instinct, while it helps us function as a species, sometimes we want to take control of it. Imagine this instinct is a monkey taking control of the sailing wheel, the monkey doesn’t know your destination, it only responds to what it sees at the instance.


For examples, people with tattoos aren’t necessarily bad people; There must be a reason if a waiting line is long, it doesn’t only mean the workers are slow. Many live situations repeat again and again daily in our regular basis but our brain is too capable at judging something without a pause thinking deeply. Don’t worry though, it’s very easy to fix up. The next time you have a bad thought, simply let it manifests, then say to yourself, ‘is this thought doing any good to me?’, ‘If no, then I don’t need you.’
By allowing, not repressing, the bad thoughts flow naturally, they will dissipate gradually and out of your brain completely very soon.

Knowing that joy comes from your heart, not by only thinking about that word.
It comes naturally as you want joy comes in your life. Imagine joy, these three letters now are not up into your head, but it places under your chin, behind the chest, inside your heart. You now officially owns its word. As you own the word, it’s up to you to decide if you put the joy outside your heart, letting people and the world to see it, or bury it so other people will react to you the same way as it always did. If you think you’re not ready, it’s the fear making you think that way again.


You will quickly realise how happiness can bring joy and wealth to you when you start changing your patterns to life itself right now.

Thanks for reading this article. It is the end of my self-help collection on the issue of mental health( the one, and two). I hope you enjoy and find it helpful as much as I write them. I may write more in related self-help topic in the future. But let me know your story, I’d like to know all about them!

Photo by Skitterphoto, pixabay, Bekka Mongeau from Pexels

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